I am a married mama and live in Minnesota. I have two amazing sons, Cooper and Sawyer. I work for a nonprofit as a Project Manager and spend most of my days in survival mode. Cooper has me on my toes at all times. I love being outside and spending time with my family and dogs. Corney…I know! I decided to write this blog because I have felt so lost and alone through this whole process with Cooper. It’s isolating and very scary to have a child with needs. Blogging has helped me find other mamas like me.
Cooper turned 3 in December 2013 and is the reason I started this blog. Check out his STATS here. He challenges us daily…and always has. I worry about him constantly. I think I have actually made a job out of it! I want him to be loved and be happy. Be smart and popular. He loves trains and balls and trucks and ALL technology! And anything to do with being outside. He can destroy a room in under 5 seconds. He LOVES to wrestle and tickle and snuggle.
Cooper is severely speech delayed. We found out in February 2014 that his social skills are too advanced to put him on the Autism Spectrum. He does have ‘some’ sensory issues as well as shows signs of Apraxia. We were told by one of his speech therapists that his language is at that of a 6-9 month old. And in seeing Cooper and his baby brother Sawyer together, I would say that is about right. Cooper still doesn’t really babble like a typical baby should. But he is curious and bright and sweet and sensitive. And he couldn’t be anymore loved.
This is a video of Cooper at age 3.5. His joy is infectious. When I get sad about this journey I need to remember these moments.
Sawyer was born in January 2014. He is bubbly and sweet and relaxed and friendly.They are brothers and yet so different. Sawyer babbles nonstop. It is the sweetest sound I have ever heard. And yet it makes me sad at the same time. I know that Cooper may never babble. Sawyer has been the best baby. He is a pure joy and growing up WAY too fast.
Every single day I pray that this will get better. I pray that the light bulb will go on for Cooper. I pray that our lives will get easier. That I know our son will have a normal life with friends. But honestly, I don’t know any of those things. There isn’t a magic ball that will tell us what Cooper’s future will hold.
As of right now, February 2014, Cooper is in speech therapy 2 times a week and will be starting Occupational Therapy as well. His therapist has not made a diagnosis yet but is leaning towards Speech Apraxia.
I have shed more tears than I can tell you over Cooper’s speech delay. I want to hear him say mama more than I can tell you. I have even dreamt of it. I have tried to bargain with him. Bribe him. I have gotten angry and yelled. I have begged. But for some reason, he isn’t ready to talk. And no one can tell us why. I need to hear his voice. I want him to tell me about his day. And tell me about what he loves. I want to talk with my son.
Cooper’s speech delay has changed me as a person. I am more timid than I ever have been before. I used to be outgoing…maybe even vivacious. Confident. Now, I am scared. I worry constantly. I worry about everything Cooper related. I have even resented Cooper’s delays. I am not perfect. And neither is he. But we are a team. God gave me this baby for a reason. And I thank God every day for him.
I am in NO WAY an expert in anything speech related but I am an expert in Cooper. I am focused on his care and getting him talking. As my husband says, keep your eye on the prize mama. And the prize is getting Cooper caught up so he can start kindergarten.
I want to share our journey with you. I want to give people who have children like Cooper hope. And courage. because throughout this whole process I have searched for hope. It’s that simple.
Have questions? Or want to know more? Email me at firstname.lastname@example.org. I’d love to hear from you!