Super Cooper

IMG_2426Do you know that I was actually stressed about posting that video of Cooper making sounds online. I’ve been doing this for 3 years. I’ve been waiting for the words for so long. And I start to feel like my hope is like a broken record. Even today, I regretted it. I know the comments I will hear from people now.

Don’t be sad…he’s making sounds. He’s close to talking. Someday he will talk. It will happen soon.

It’s almost like these videos are ammunition of hope.

But what the mom inside me wants to say…we could be here for months. Years. Or the rest of his life.

How much hope do I put into this stage? Without going crazy?

So, as I sat all depressed in my living room over my 4 year old not talking I thought I would  post a little Cooper cuteness. He spent the morning holding my hand while playing on his iPad. It was one of the sweetest moments I’ve ever shared with him. Talking or not, this kid is still my whole world. I don’t know anyone that can look at Cooper without smiling.

I sure do hope that Cooper’s language keeps coming. But, I will also continue to walk the fine line of hope and acceptance.  IMG_0129

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10 thoughts on “Super Cooper

  1. I’m not going to make it all rosy, because quite frankly having been there, it’s not. But, I will say that there is hope. Don’t ever lose that. Your son needs your hope in order for him to succeed. I don’t know where my son would be right now if I had given up, but since we kept at it (both he and I), he is emerging from his shell and continues to do so little by little. These kids are amazing. Instead of focusing on their delays and weaknesses, focus on their strengths and the special gifts that they have.

  2. I have heard that Lan’s language is coming and on the cusp for the last 2 years. It does come in waves also. Apraxia is a beast. I hope he talks soon. He will really one day, he will. I pray for it too.

  3. So happy for Cooper and for you! I’m glad you posted the video. It actually made me jealous because at least you got a “hi”. We still don’t even have that… You are showing the rest of us who are also struggling, that there is hope. So thank you!

  4. Being badly disabled myself, I agree that hope can be an absolutely corrosive force when it come to these kind of things. Other people may disagree with that strong statement, but I stand by it.

    I think it’s best to use the technique psych people call “managed expectations.” Have a little hope, but keep your expectations low and reasonable so you’re not utterly smashed if they don’t happen. Another way to do this is to say, “I *prefer* (for something to happen),” rather than say, “I have to have/need to have/this must happen.” Using the word “prefer” is a subtle mind trick to help keep you sane…it gives you some control, but it’s not dependant on an absolute outcome. These little phrases matter when you’re psychologically coping with things wildly outside your control, like autism.

  5. I’ve just discovered your amazin blog at the same time as my llittle man is just starting the long road of assessments. He’s been referred today to our kids mental health service here in the UK as he has no words (at 26 months) and displays significant autistic behaviours. It’s all new to us. Thank you so much for travelling this road first and helping those of us who come after. Hopefully my son will slowly get the help he needs – he’s a wonderful person. All the best to you and your lovely family.

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