Today is the Day.

b750e1d823ad056920430b00c5bd3e55Today is the day that I will love Cooper the most. Today he needs me more than ever.

Today I am his advocate. His protector. His cheerleader.

Today I refuse to wish that he was different. I will be proud of how far we have come and accept that we need help from the school and teachers and others.

Today, I will accept that I can’t do this alone.

Today I will go easy on myself. I will wear something I won’t sweat through. I know that I will be running around and I will be okay with myself for being mentally and physically exhausted after.

Today I will list every single one of Cooper’s strengths. I will celebrate them like he is a genius. And, I will touch on his weaknesses but I won’t dwell.

Today I will say 1 million prayers under my breath but I will not bargain with God. I will pray for strength.

Today I promise not to get mad at my husband. I will see that he is hurting too. That he is scared as well. And even though we show it in different ways we want the absolute best for Cooper.

Today I will vow not to expect more from Cooper than he can give. And I won’t blame myself or worse yet, Cooper.

Today I will not cry. I will not get mad after we are in the car away from the teachers. I will not allow my heart to be broken again.

Today I will see how far we have to go. And I will see how far we have come. I will see the future.

photo 1 (4)Today I will ask these strangers to love my baby. I will ask them to see how amazing he is. How much love he has to give. I will beg them to be patient with him and pull him out of his shell. I will explain to them that he can’t talk. That he can’t come home and tell me about his day. I need them to love him like their own children. And protect him and keep him safe.

Simply put, today I will have strength. And I will love my son. He will know that I am proud of him.

I will cry my tears right now because there is no room for tears later. We will walk into the school together and I will remember to breathe.

Today is the day that I will love Cooper the most.



11 thoughts on “Today is the Day.

    • Hi there. Thanks for stopping by. And thanks for the compliment. You made me smile! And Super Cooper is the best too. Thanks for the link. Her blog is actually one of the first I found when I started this journey. It scared me and gave me hope at the same time. The mom is an AMAZING advocate.

  1. I don’t know how far you went back on my blog, if you read the one called Slow is Relative (or something like that), but if you haven’t I suggest it. This change in perspective you’re vowing to make is the key…coop may be on a totally different path than other kids his age, but it IS a path, and he IS moving forward on it. The choice we have to make is whether to be the cheering squad on this path and walk it with them, or potentially make ourselves and our kids miserable trying to drag them down the one that WE want them on. It can be hard sometimes, when they are sick and can’t tell us what’s wrong, when spouse, family and friends don’t “get” it. But if you let the what ifs and will hes take over you’ll miss a lot of the joy found in he IS. Just advice from a mommy a lil further down that path less travelled 🙂

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