Today I am his advocate. His protector. His cheerleader.
Today I refuse to wish that he was different. I will be proud of how far we have come and accept that we need help from the school and teachers and others.
Today, I will accept that I can’t do this alone.
Today I will go easy on myself. I will wear something I won’t sweat through. I know that I will be running around and I will be okay with myself for being mentally and physically exhausted after.
Today I will list every single one of Cooper’s strengths. I will celebrate them like he is a genius. And, I will touch on his weaknesses but I won’t dwell.
Today I will say 1 million prayers under my breath but I will not bargain with God. I will pray for strength.
Today I promise not to get mad at my husband. I will see that he is hurting too. That he is scared as well. And even though we show it in different ways we want the absolute best for Cooper.
Today I will vow not to expect more from Cooper than he can give. And I won’t blame myself or worse yet, Cooper.
Today I will not cry. I will not get mad after we are in the car away from the teachers. I will not allow my heart to be broken again.
Today I will see how far we have to go. And I will see how far we have come. I will see the future.
Today I will ask these strangers to love my baby. I will ask them to see how amazing he is. How much love he has to give. I will beg them to be patient with him and pull him out of his shell. I will explain to them that he can’t talk. That he can’t come home and tell me about his day. I need them to love him like their own children. And protect him and keep him safe.
Simply put, today I will have strength. And I will love my son. He will know that I am proud of him.
I will cry my tears right now because there is no room for tears later. We will walk into the school together and I will remember to breathe.
Today is the day that I will love Cooper the most.