Eek…I Overshared! And Now You Know The Real Me!

d11993248deb9f32e43771e8f3beff02I am totally having mommy guilt about oversharing yesterday. Think of it as drinking too much and being embarrassed the next day about what you said and did. We’ve all been there. At least I know I have! (One too many times) Except yesterday I wasn’t drinking. I was just plain, old sad. And worn down. And needed help. A good night’s sleep reminded me that life could be a lot worse.

If I was to sum up Cooper’s behaviors I can link every single one to lack of communication. He can’t say what he wants and needs and therefore feels like we don’t understand him. Which, half the time we don’t. And his brain is growing fast. I can see that and the lack of language is really becoming apparent.

But, in saying all that, Cooper is a really, really great kid. If I was to add them up I bet I got 50 hugs and kisses yesterday. Big sloppy all of over your face kisses and tight bear hugs. Thank you god for this. It makes the hard times more bearable.

Coops and I played trains last night and you know what…HE LOVED IT. It’s like he forgot about how much he loved it. We made tunnels and built tracks. It was fantastic. I actually missed it.

Last night was Jamie’s turn to put Super Cooper to bed. I walked back to Cooper’s room to drop of one of his 3 blankies that he has to sleep with. Ever so sweetly, Cooper grabbed Jamie’s hand and walked him to the door and gave him a little shove. And then ran up to me with the biggest grin and knocked me on the bed with a snuggle. Then signed, ‘read, please.’ And just like that, I was a goner. Thank you God for this baby.

So here are my plans…

071I have to relax and stop begging for answers. Take one day at a time as they say.

I have to accept that until Cooper can communicate (however that may be) life is going to be more challenging.

I have to start accepting that my son is different.

I MUST cut  back on technology for Cooper. His brain can’t handle it right now.

Jamie and I have to start doing more self care. More time away from the house. More ‘me’ time as they say.

And lastly, I need to SUCK IT UP. This is our life, our kid and we need to be advocates. No more crying over coulda, woulda shoulda.

Happy Monday all. It’s a new day and spring is on the horizon!


14 thoughts on “Eek…I Overshared! And Now You Know The Real Me!

  1. It’s okay to have hard days and it’s okay to vent. With that said, I’m happy to see that you’re seeing the positive in Cooper. There’s always good things in the midst of the bad. It’s the good things that keep us holding on and moving forward. Each day is one step closer to reaching a milestone.

  2. We all break down sometimes. I remember crying one night as I put him to sleep that all I wanted was to read him a story like a “normal” kid and not have him fight and cry like a wild animal. 😉 it gets easier, truly.

    I love your list. They are all perfect. But always feel free to vent. It what keeps us sane!

    And try to use characters/games that he likes in technology to gear him toward other activities. And tell him he can’t use the phone or iPad unless he participates. Walk away when he screams. Don’t give in. After a while he will cave. 😉

  3. I can relate with a lot of your frustrations. Our daughter gets therapy 3 times a week for a speech delay and OT. She is 33 months old. She has improved greatly and does talk now, but is still not where she should be for her age… yet! I still have hope she will continue to improve. I once said to my husband if I could fast foward the next two years so I knew she would be ok I would do it because not knowing what will happen is torture… and then I thought how sad that I am wishing all of our special time together away, but the fight can sometimes suck the joy out of raising your child. it has been a scary ride and continues to be. Many think she is on the spectrum, but in my heart I just dont think she is, I have done a lot of research and it just doesn’t fit her. her teachers are constanty suprised by her intelligence but she is very strong willed. When you don’t have answers your mind tends to dwell on “what it could be” it becomes consuming.Thank you for sharing. This is not easy for me to talk about but, you brought it out of me with your honest posts. I have a lot of catch up reading to do. Thanks for stopping by my blog also : ) Your son is a beautiful (boy) and soul!

    • I know exactly what you mean! I want to know the future. I NEED to know the future. I think we always appear so frantic when we ask therapist about what we can expect. And then I beat myself up for wishing the time away. I need to enjoy right now because they are only little for a minute. I think this is something only moms of kiddos with delays/needs understand. The constant need for things to get better. So glad you stopped by!

  4. If you didn’t have an occasional “I’m losing my ever-loving mind day” then you wouldn’t be human. It is difficult to watch your child struggle and dealing with a ticked off or frustrated kiddo with communication delays is hard. Chin up, Sweet Mama!

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