Let’s Talk Feelings

photo 1Cooper’s pediatrician asked me once if I would be worried about Cooper’s ‘other’ quirks if he spoke. And that is a really, really good question because honestly, I wouldn’t. Cooper’s personality is a perfect mixture of my husband and I.

So one of the questions I have about kiddos like Cooper is how much of it is actually personality. (Disclaimer…my husband is going to kill me for writing this post!)

Cooper is a rough and tough boy. He enjoys rocks and dirt and puddles. Yes, he loves his blankie and mom and Elmo doll but overall this kid is ALL boy.

One of Coop’s main issues is transitioning. Although, thankfully, this is improving. And this mama is an excellent negotiator and briber! Example: “Cooper, let’s stop watching that Thomas video so you can have dinner.” He looks at me like I am C-R-A-Z-Y! And in reality, I get it. So, could that be part of my stubbornness and temper.

Or, an another example would be Cooper’s lack of imaginative play. I once asked my husband to initiate more imaginative play with Cooper and he said he didn’t know how. So, to me, that is crazy. This mama would gladly build a fort and hide from dragons any day. Not Jamie. He would rather set up a train or play ball. This is Cooper as well.

I have a joke that I say about my husband when I am describing him to people. Let’s say our house was on fire and I was screaming to Jamie to do something. He would respond much like this, “Relax Katie. Sit down. Let’s take inventory first and then think about moving out the beds.” Oh my God. He is painfully relaxed at times. Literally, his ass could be on fire and I think he would take a minute to assess the situation. I, on the other hand, would grab the kids, dogs, photo albums and be out the door. We are different in that way.

Another example. 6 months or so ago I pulled out a box of toy dishes and plastic food. I wanted to see what Cooper would do with them. Cooper and I were sitting in our family room in front of the fire place. I set up the cups and plates and asked Cooper to come and join me. I then put plastic eggs on each of our plates and asked him to take a bite. He picked them up and threw them off the fireplace. Eggs were bouncing off me, Sawyer, the dogs, you name it. Jamie walked down a few minutes later and asked what we were doing. I set the eggs back on the plates and said I am attempting to have a nice dinner with my son. Jamie looked at me, picked up an egg, and bounced it off the fireplace and laughed as it hit me in the head. Like father like son.

photo 3I look at my husband and he turned out alright. So maybe I shouldn’t worry quite so much about Cooper…

One thing that we are attempting to work on is feeling cards. Yes, you read that right. Cooper can’t express his feelings in words so his therapist wants us to show him a card and he can point to how he feels. I’m going to be honest with you. This cracks me up.

I can’t get my verbal husband to tell me how he feels half the time and now I need to get my nonverbal 3 year old to describe his feelings.

I can tell you exactly what is going to happen. Cooper is going to crumple these things up! But, I take all the advice I can get. Bring on the feelings!


4 thoughts on “Let’s Talk Feelings

  1. I just had to laugh about the egg throwing ha ha!
    I said to my hubby last week why don’t you go do some painting or something messy with Henry. He said “nah that messy stuff is for you, I’m just gonna throw him round the living room and wrestle for a bit”.

  2. I feel the same way about Jonah most of the time. I wonder how much of it is just his personality, but then he does something that makes me say, “okay, that’s more than personality.” But you’re right. Cooper may just have a really strong, vibrant personality.

  3. I totally get where you are coming from. I look at my son, quirks and all, and wonder how much of who he is comes from his personality, from his parents, and from his “disorders”. He is a perfect combination, and although I really wish he weren’t so aggressive, could self-regulate himself better, and express himself more clearly I love all parts of him. It has been difficult getting him to express how he feels. There seems to be only calm, excited, and angry. But he never tells us how he feels – he shows us. I wish he could express himself more clearly. Good luck with the emotion cards.

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