Cooper had an amazing speech appointment today. To put it honestly, he was perfect. And that is something I don’t get to say all the time. He played, giggled, flirted, vocalized and interacted. He did it all and he had a smile on his face the whole time. I was riding high. I was even relaxed and enjoying myself.
And then his therapist said something that was supposed to make me feel better. At least I think that’s what she was doing. She said, “my boss wants me to diagnose Cooper with autism and I won’t. I’ve been doing this for 20 years and I don’t believe he is autistic. So I am going to focus on treatment and not a diagnosis.”
What! Wait! Hold the phone. How did this just happen? How did we get here again? We’ve met your boss in the waiting room a total of 5 freaking times! How can she diagnose him without even spending time with him?
His therapist then went onto say she worked with a little boy just like Cooper and at age 5 he started talking and hasn’t looked back. At age 5 all of the pieces came together.
And just like that I was dropped down another notch. I know that story is supposed to give me hope but it doesn’t. It makes me sad. I can’t do this for another year and half.
I guess what I am trying to say is maybe I need to stop caring about these other stories. Maybe I just need to focus on Cooper and his story. Life is too short to always be carrying this worry and anger with me. I could spend all day stewing about his therapists’ boss…but what would that really get me?
I spoke with someone two years ago after my dog died. I was so sad and she gave me the most simple advice that I think about a lot.
It is what it is. You can’t change it. Simply put, you are sad and you are going to be for a while. Except it. It is what it is.